Woman argues adults over the age of 30 shouldn’t expect gifts at their wedding

A woman who was given a wedding registry filled with expensive gift suggestions has sparked a debate about giving presents to financially stable newlyweds. 

Posting anonymously on Reddit, the American woman explained she’s been invited to the wedding of a friend who she hasn’t spoken to in 15 years, and each item on his registry costs over $400.

She said couples who already have a home full of nice things shouldn’t ecpect gifts, because people travelling to attend their ceremony is enough of a present.

The post divided responses as many agreed there should never be an obligation to give gifts, however age shouldn’t be a factor when deciding whether or not to give. 

The woman captioned her post: ‘Why should established adults expect wedding presents in the first place?’

Venting her frustration, she wrote: ‘For couples who are already well-off adults in their 30s/40s+ who have nice homes full of nice stuff (and maybe this isn’t their first marriage), why is there any expectation of a gift to begin with? 

‘People you presumably care about are taking time out of their lives to celebrate your union. Isn’t their presence enough of a present, especially if they’ve traveled to attend? How does this make sense?’

She added her post was inspired by a ‘ridiculously expensive registry’ with nothing under $400 for a friend she hasn’t spoken to in 15 years and his bride who she hasn’t met.

A stream of responses to the post argued that gift giving is an expression of love and support for the new couple’s union.

One person wrote: ‘I think if the registry isn’t your thing that’s totally cool, maybe do the honeymoon fund or have people make a donation to a charity in your name. But giving is something people enjoy doing.

‘It makes them like a part of something. Taking that away from some people may actually be a disservice, if they are looking forward to giving to you guys in some way and feel connected through that action.’ 

Another said: ‘Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I think we should also remember that by not providing a registry or insisting against gifts takes away people’s ability to show their love with gift giving. 

‘For some people, that is their love language. Not only do older couples deserve gifts just as much as younger couples, but gift givers deserve the right to choose if they want to give a gift’

Others argued some couples ask for extravagant gifts and guests shouldn’t feel obligated to give them.

‘I think wedding gift expectations have become ridiculous and that many couples seem absurdly entitled. That said, the idea that a couple is more deserving of gifts because they’re marrying before they get their s*** together seems crazy to me. Gifts celebrate the couple’s special event, they are really not a charity pool for people who need things or experiences,’ wrote one.

Another said: ‘I’m with you. My ex-husband and I explicitly said no gifts (married early & mid-30s, not well off, but def did not need more house stuff). We did have a small destination wedding and most guests paid their own travel, which we were more than grateful for. I would’ve been kind of mortified to accept any more.’  

A third added: ‘I agree with ya! My cousin recently married his long time gf. They live together in a nice house in a nice neighbourhood and have everything they need for their house. They’re registry was full of expensive c*** like fishing supplies and expensive appliances like an Instant Pot.

‘I felt a bit offended by the price tags. I bought them a decent set of dish towels and pot holders. May have not been on their registry but I’m sure they’ll use them.’