The parties even coronavirus couldn’t spoil

Hen dos. 60th Birthdays. Even a wedding. Thanks to video apps, families are finding ingenious ways to keep celebrations alive…

26 ONLINE FOR MY HEN PARTY

Laura Pemberton, 32, works in retail. She lives with her fiancé Alastair Wray, 36, who works in the rail industry, in ­Tadcaster, North Yorkshire. She says: 

When lockdown happened and it was obvious there weren’t going to be any flights out of Britain, I knew my hen night would be off. A big group of girlfriends and I had planned to go to Budapest. 

On the day we’d been due to fly, a parcel arrived with a note saying not to open it until 7.25pm. I thought it was to do with a date night Alastair said he’d planned. But I began to suspect something else was going on because Alastair fired up his laptop and connected it to the TV. 

He claimed he was having a Zoom chat with friends. But then I was told to open the parcel. In it were a bottle of Prosecco, a hen party sash and a crown. As Alastair turned on the TV, 26 of my friends’ faces all appeared in front of me! It was such a wonderful surprise. 

There were friends from college, work, even some from Dubai, and my mum. Everyone had made badges saying ‘Laura’s Hen Do’ and we played virtual games such as Mr and Mrs Alastair was banished upstairs but occasionally he’d come down wearing only an apron and serve me a cocktail, so I even had my own butler in the buff! It was very funny. 

As the drink flowed and we all shared stories and played games, there wasn’t any moment where the conversation lulled or it felt awkward. I was so touched that everyone had made such an effort. 

Our wedding is planned for the end of June, so we are keeping our fingers crossed it can still go ahead. I doubt I’ll have a ‘real’ hen do now but that really doesn’t matter now I’ve had this one.

GOLDEN WEDDING WAS ZOOMING MARVELLOUS

Sue Banks, 72, a retired art studio manager, and husband Chris, 73, a part-time programme officer for local government, live in West Sussex. They have two grown-up daughters and four grandchildren. She says: 

We’d been planning our Golden Wedding celebrations on April 4 for about a year and were so looking forward to it. We’d booked a venue and a live band and invited 120 guests. 

I’d bought a new outfit and we’d planned to go to the South of France to top up our tans. But by mid-March it was becoming obvious that our plans would have to change. Our daughter Claire suggested we hold a Zoom party instead. 

We weren’t sure what to expect but when the party kicked off at 4.30pm it was so much fun. I have family and friends around the world, many of whom couldn’t have made the real party, but suddenly here they were on a screen.

It really did feel almost as if they were with us in real life. One of my cousins had given birth the day before, so I was able to see the new baby, which was wonderful. A widowed friend in Canada, who has been struggling a little with the isolation, joined in. 

My 83-year-old sister-in-law even had a go at joining us, although she had a few technical difficulties so was only with us a short while! Other friends dipped in and out, some were chatty, others were quiet, and we were all having drinks and joking about just like any party. 

We even had a cake-cutting. More than 20 family and friends popped in and out and by the time it all ended — around 10.30pm — both Chris and I were exhausted. We hope to be able to have more get-togethers this way. Although it will never replace human contact, being able to see loved ones like this is the next best thing. 

A WORLD OF FRIENDS AT MUM’S 60TH 

Luisa Ruocco, 29, is a lifestyle influencer, @luisainsta. She is isolating in West London with her mother Linda, 60, as well as Linda’s sister, brother-in-law and their daughter. Luisa says: 

This year I hadn’t planned anything for Mum’s 60th birthday and I felt terrible about it. We’re always travelling, so we weren’t sure where we’d be in the world. But when lockdown was announced and we were both in the UK at the same time, I thought it would be nice to arrange a special event. 

Mum knew I was up to something but I didn’t say what until her birthday. I put the computer in the kitchen and told Mum to put on some make-up, as we were about to do a video call with some friends. 

She had no idea how many people would be joining us! I’d arranged for around 40 friends from all over the world — Milan, Paris, New York, Chicago and even Australia — to be on the call. With so many time zones, timing was key! 

But we decided on 6pm, and the Australians agreed to get up in the middle of the night for it. Everyone joined in with a glass of wine or beer and I realised that it was only us who didn’t have a drink, so I quickly ran to get some Prosecco! I’d made a cake and Mum ‘blew out’ her candles by patting them with a cloth, as we realised blowing them out probably wasn’t a good idea in the middle of a pandemic! 

I was amazed at how easily the party flowed, with guests who had never met each other chatting away. The only downside was that a few older relatives couldn’t make it, as they couldn’t figure out the technology. 

I explained it was only an app they had to download but when they asked the question; ‘What’s an app?’ I knew we were probably best off just having a phone call afterwards. The party lasted for about an hour and a half and mum was absolutely thrilled. What’s more, I get brownie points for organising a memorable birthday when originally I had nothing planned at all! 

SURPRISE! WE REMEMBERED!

Samara Ullmann, 34, co-owns The Parent Society, an influencer agency. She is in lockdown with her mother Rosie, 64, and daughter Ivy, two, in Leeds. She says: 

When I woke up on March 30, I felt a bit down. It was my 34th birthday and I’d hoped to spend the afternoon with my daughter at a playground, meet my family for a meal and later go out with my girlfriends for drinks. 

Instead, I was stuck at home on lockdown. It wasn’t totally gloomy. I got more cards than normal and Mum made me a lovely breakfast. But I’d pretty much written off my birthday by the time I’d put Ivy to bed and poured myself a glass of fizz at 8.30pm. Then my older brother James called and asked for a favour. 

He had an important Zoom work call the next day but as he was using a different computer, could he practise by calling me? I thought nothing of it. Settling down with my glass, I turned on my laptop and James called me. 

We chatted for a few minutes, then he said something about singing happy birthday. He pressed a button and the screen turned into one full of faces I recognised. About 50 friends and relatives were all there. 

I was in total shock! It was the most wonderful surprise. There were colleagues, friends from university I’d not spoken to for ages, my dad and stepmum, too. Mum had been in on the plan and hadn’t said a word. 

I was so overwhelmed I could barely speak. I had to go through every person and explain how I knew them, which took quite a while! At one point I went into the kitchen to do gin shots! By 11pm, there were only about six people left so we decided to wrap up the party. I was on such a high. It’s the best and most memorable birthday I’ve ever had. 

 OUR RUINED WEDDING DAY WAS VIRTUALLY SAVED

Sue Barsby, 49, is a neuro-linguistic programming practitioner. She lives with fiancé Chris Marshall, 56, an engineer, in Clitheroe, Lancs. Sue has three sons — twins James and Christian, 24, and Oliver, 20. She says: 

Chris and I had planned our wedding for a year, after being together for five years. We’d booked the venue, had the suit fittings and our hen and stag dos and were looking forward to marrying on March 28. 

Then things changed very quickly. First, we were told that over-70s had to lock down, which meant my mum and dad wouldn’t be able to make it. Then that weddings could only have two witnesses. Finally, ten days before our big day, all venues were told to close. We were gutted. 

I didn’t want to wake up on my wedding day feeling miserable, so when someone on a Facebook group shared a link to wildflowerceremonies.co.uk, run by a lady called Ellie, I had an idea. She’s a wedding celebrant who was offering to do virtual ‘wedding’ services in return for a donation to charity. 

She performs a ‘handfasting’ ceremony, a term derived from the Old Norse handfesta, meaning ‘to strike a bargain by joining hands’. It’s not legally binding but it seemed the perfect way to mark the day. On the morning of our ‘wedding’ I was a bit sad when I woke up. 

It was sunny and Chris and I looked at each other as if to say: ‘Oh, this would have been nice.’ I didn’t want to wear my actual dress, so I’d ordered a new one from Next online. At 1.30pm, the time our wedding would have been, my eldest sons — who are both junior doctors working on Covid wards — and their partners joined us via Zoom, wearing smart outfits. 

We propped up the iPad on the radiator so we could see their faces and Ellie’s. It was actually very intimate and emotional. Chris was crying as I walked in to James Morrisonsinging I Won’t Let You Go. At the end of the 20-minute ceremony, my youngest son Oliver, who is in lockdown with us, wrapped ribbon around our hands as Ellie read some lovely words. 

Afterwards we had a Zoom drinks reception for about 20 guests. We danced, cut a cake from Tesco and Oliver kept our glasses filled. We were asleep by the early evening! While I’m looking forward to our real wedding next year, it was still a very special thing to do.