NYC waitress rates ‘whiny’ Jake Gyllenhaal among stars she served

A New York City waitress is spilling the beans on stars she has served, including ‘classy’ Julianne Moore and ‘solid tipper’ Dakota Fanning.

Laura Mesrobian, a 25-year-old actor and a server in the Big Apple, has opened up about some of her most memorable experiences with famous customers, revealing their demeanor, habits, and even drink orders.

In a series of TikTok videos, Laura reflected on the times she waited on Jake Gyllenhall, Greta Gerwig, Amanda Seyfried, and Glenn Close — and the surprising drink that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was downing after the 2016 election.

Though Laura didn’t indicate where she encountered these celebrities, until the pandemic hit she worked at Joe’s Pub at the Public Theater, a downtown bar frequented by theatergoers. 

One of her biggest star sightings was Hillary Clinton, whom her friend served some time after the 2016 election.  

‘It was post-election Hillary. She had been through it. So I was thinking maybe she’d want, like, red wine, something relaxing,’ Laura said. 

‘Hillary Clinton was drinking tequila sodas.’

She rated Clinton ‘9/10 for drink choice’ but ‘2/10 for war hawk policies.’

Most of her other celebrity encounters were of the Hollywood variety, including Jake Gyllenhaal. 

‘Yes, he’s f***in’ gorgeous. Yes, his eyes will pierce your soul. But kinda whiny?’ she said. ‘And really likes his pinot noir and French fries. 

‘Always with friends. Somehow never paid? But he was pretty fun,’ she added, giving him 7/10.

Julianne Moore, whom she calls her ‘redhead icon,’ did slightly better with a rating of 8/10. 

‘Beautiful, classy, and sweet. One of the few celebrities, let alone people, to look you in the eye and say thank you. Great skin, really tiny — that’s most celebrities. It was a joy for all,’ she said.

Glenn Close also got 7/10, with Laura describing her as ‘regal’ and ‘composed,’ though she admitted that ‘some people thought of it as cold, but I don’t think so.’

‘She’d probably dealt with a lot of people by this time, so give her a break,’ she said.

‘But the kicker is, with Glenn Close always came Pip. And Pip was running the show. Pip had full reign to run around the restaurant as much as he wanted. Not the most fun, but the dog was pretty funny and it was overall OK.’

Frances McDormand scored 9/10, mostly because of her urgency in ordering drinks.

‘All she said to me was, “Are you our waitress, because we need alcohol right now,”‘ Laura recalled.

Amanda Seyfried, meanwhile, ‘looks like a beautiful little fairy in person.’

‘[She] came in on a super busy night with her husband but was really sweet and understanding. Got a cheese board and overall pretty great,’ she said, rating her 8/10.

Dakota Fanning, she went on, ‘seems like a really normal person’ and got 7/10 as well.

‘[She] met a girlfriend there, split a bottle of white wine. Solid tipper. Can’t complain,’ Laura said. 

Laura’s highest compliments went to Greta Gerwig, whom she called a ‘true queen.’ 

‘This girl was so fun,’ she said. ‘She had just finished her pregnancy at the time and given birth to her kid, and she talked to me for about two minutes at the bar about how much her t**s had changed. 

‘Totally would want to party with her, all night. Just super good presence in the room,’ she added, giving her 11/10.

But Greta’s partner, director Noah Baumbach, is another story — Laura rated him just 2/10. 

‘Def didn’t match the vibes of Ms. Gerwig,’ she said. ‘Didn’t seem like he was having any fun? Could see why Noah Baumbach would make Marriage Story.’