With the coronavirus pandemic sweeping across the world, and many locking down in their homes, some are dreading the idea of going through the crisis alone.
But advocates of Honjok, the South Korean art of being at peace with yourself in time of isolation, believe the self-isolation could actually provide a perfect moment to practice self-acceptance.
The practice relies strongly on the concept of sologamy, which is the idea that the best partner in life that you can find is yourself.
The authors of a new book on the topic argue the principle is moving mindsets ‘away from associating alone time’ from being without other people, and ‘towards being “with” ourselves.’
In Honjok: The Art of Living Alone, clinical counsellor Francie Healey and Chinese-Canadian journalist Crystal Tai explain how the Honjok can help us get through these trying times.
The term honjok was born out of two South Korean terms: ‘hon’, meaning ‘alone’ and ‘jok’, meaning ‘tribe.’ It refers to the growing movement against the traditional Korean vision of family and happiness.
Tai and Healey explain that the Honjok movement was born out of a surge in feminism in South Korea, where women were told being wives and mothers was a sure lock on happiness.
Honjok states that being alone doesn’t necessarily lead to loneliness and that differentiating between the two is key to being happy in your own skin.
Advocates for the South Korean practice of Honjok believe self-isolation is actually the key to accepting oneself and finding happiness (stock image)
The authors explain that loneliness is based on feeling as though you have no social support to help you cope, but that being alone can be enjoyable.
The philosophy views deep friendship as a key to overcoming loneliness.
It suggests that one can overcome loneliness by having a few well-chosen friends, as opposed to a hoard of friends with perhaps shallower connection.
The authors argue that by choosing to focus on friends you have a deep connection with is the best way to be happier with yourself, rather than socialising.
Meanwhile, individuals should embrace the idea of ‘sologomy’, and celebrate themselves in a figurative ‘marriage’ as a form of proclamation of self-love.
Honjok makes the point that, because humans are social beings, a part of us seeks to belong with others, and to please others.
However, the idea of being happy alone doesn’t have to clash with the fact we need interactions.
Rather than rejecting others, it means embracing the notion of belonging to yourself.
The authors explain that people can feel alone even when they’re in a relationship or surrounded by people.
But they argue: ‘You can be completely alone, yet still feel connected to and supported by others.
‘When you know you have supportive relationships, you can feel better about the prospect of being on your own.’
They also stress that alone time should be seen as contemplative time, where you can focus on producing good work that matter to you.
Journalist Crystal Tai (left) and clinical counsellor Francie Healey (right) explain how alone-time can be used to practice introspection and why being alone doesn’t necessarily lead to loneliness
They explain: ‘Contrary to the notion of contemplative moments being a waste of time, investing in self-reflection to develop self-awareness and compassion actually helps you save time by gaining a better understanding of what matters most so you can invest time in those areas.
Honjok: The Art of Living Alone is published by Eddison Books on April 23
‘You get to decide at what level you want to be involved in the world, at what point you lose yourself, and where the balance.
They also explain that having some alone-time might give you an opportunity to reflect on what you want and allow your creativity to develop.
But while they argue that being alone can be a time of reflection, they also argue the importance of dealing with your feelings as they arise.
They explain that rather than suppressing how we feel, we should embrace and express emotions when we feel them in order to understand why we feel the way we do.
‘By releasing our emotions and letting them flow, we can work through them and move forwards,’ they explain.
Honjok: The Art of Living Alone is published by Eddison Books on April 23