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Midnight. Not a sound from the pavement. Has the moon lost her memory? Not if I have anything to do with it. For I am here to remind you all of a very special anniversary, my ten years in office, serving this country to the best of my ability. My name is Larry the Cat, … Read more
Time to consult ye olde crystal ball, shuffle the tarot cards, dig out my trusty drivel diviner to see what 2021 holds for Harry and Meghan and — uh oh! The Sussexes are just over a year into their great finding freedom caper but if events of recent days are anything to go by, we … Read more
What I simply don’t understand is how Dwight Yorke can live with himself. In public he is the successful footballer-turned-pundit and self-styled ‘philanthropist’; in private he is the father of disabled Harvey Price, the do-little dad who has had almost nothing to do with his 18-year-old son’s upbringing. You might imagine Dwight would be shunned … Read more
What I’d like to do right now is go to Arundel and buy a lemon yum yum from the LG Café in the town centre, which snobbish locals are trying to close. I’d like to drink to the health and wealth of the café owners with one of their cups of piping hot chocolate and … Read more
Another pina colada, darling? Or do you want to have a swim in the ocean first? One thing the pandemic has taught us, as if we didn’t know it already, is that we are not all in this together. We are not all in the same boat, making the same voyage, faced with the same … Read more
The first lockdown seems like ancient history now, something that happened a long time ago, almost to someone else. I remember peaceful, sunny days and long, warm evenings, all very enjoyable in the loveliest spring there had been for years. I was alone in London, isolated and perfectly happy in my Jan-bubble, foolishly believing that … Read more
Friends, is this a scallop I see before me, the fan-shaped shell turned towards my hand? Come let me clutch thee. In fact, let me eat thee, drenched in thy saucing of butter, herbs and crushed hazelnuts, garnished with naughty slices of black truffle. My goodness, how delicious! For this is no ordinary scallop. This … Read more
Are you a smart cookie or a dumb waiter? Will you find our festive food quiz as easy as pie or a hard nut to crack? Snacks at the ready, and let’s get started. Use your loaf to discover whose goose is cooked and who is bringing home the crispy bacon. LOCKDOWN 1. Thousands started … Read more
Tonight, a 55-year-old man with screaming calf muscles will take to the dance floor for one more twirl of twinkle-toed glory. Comedian and musician Bill Bailey is the oldest male contestant to ever reach the Strictly Come Dancing final and in the process has become the unexpected hit of this series. Aided by professional partner Oti … Read more
At the final curtain call, Michael Ball said it was the ‘most amazing’ first night of his career and let me tell you that the audience at the Sondheim Theatre felt very much the same way. On Saturday night Les Miserables returned in triumph to London’s West End, where the theatres have been shuttered and dark … Read more