Sophie Ellis-Bextor reveals she ‘felt like a complete failure’ as a parent in first lockdown

Sophie Ellis-Bextor has candidly revealed she ‘felt like a complete failure’ as a parent as she struggled to cope with her five children during the first lockdown.

The singer, 41, shares sons Sonny, 16, Kit, 11, Ray, eight, Jesse, five, and Mickey, two, with musician husband Richard Jones, 41.

And speaking about how she managed to raise her family, while homeschooling, keeping home and entertaining the nation with her weekly kitchen disco, Sophie admitted: ‘It was a nightmare.’ 

While the Murder On The Dancefloor hitmaker’s home-life was seemingly idyllic with disco lights, sparkly dresses and her children gleefully larking about around her, Sophie told how it was anything but.

In a new interview with The Telegraph, the star candidly revealed that her family are far from being The Brady Bunch, stating: ‘It probably looks like we live that way, but it’s 25 minutes on the odd Friday – it’s not normally what goes on around here.’

Sophie went on to say that like most parents, she and Richard had to cope with the pressures of life in lockdown during the pandemic, with raising and educating the kids while trying to do their own work, while also keeping a check on everyone’s mental health.

While Sophie thrilled music fans with performances of her back catalogue from her kitchen, she told how the kitchen discos were as much of a release for her as they were for everyone else.

She explained: ‘Amid the heaviness of the news, I needed not just an escape but also catharsis. There’s so much stress and tension. When I jump around and sing my heart out, it goes away for a bit.’

Sophie went on to detail trying to help hers sons through the strange period, adding it was the ‘hardest’ for eight-year-old Ray, who craved social interaction with his friends, and her eldest son Sonny, 16, whom Sophie says like most 16-year-olds, needs that ‘rites of passage’.

The Take Me Home singer also spoke about the difficulty in trying to decipher what was a ‘normal, monosyllabic mood swing’ for a teenager and what was ‘something actually significant’ when trying to keep an eye on her son’s mental health, adding it ‘isn’t easy’.

But while Sophie muddled through the hardships of bringing up her brood in the pandemic, she admitted that she felt unsuccessful, while comparing herself to some parents who felt that the first lockdown was ‘easier’. 

She explained: ‘I don’t know how I’d do it on my own, I tried last year, it was a nightmare. Some parents I know found the first lockdown easier, but I felt like a complete failure.’

The entertainer says she and Richard – who manages the cooking and cleaning – have found the latest lockdown to be a lot smoother as restrictions allow for their nanny to help out for a few hours a day.

Sophie emphasised that their home needs a ‘minimum of two adults’ as two-year-old Mickey can’t be left ‘unsupervised’, and with four other sons needing her attention, no doubt the nanny is godsend. 

Despite her trials and tribulations of raising five boys in a pandemic, Sophie recently admitted that she hasn’t ruled out the ‘wacky’ idea of having a sixth child. 

Speaking to BANG Showbiz in December, she said: ‘The idea of number six is absolutely wacky and I suspect it won’t happen but it’s a never say never kind of thing.’ 

She added that she feels she’s had the chance to experience a whole ‘spectrum’ of personalities thanks to her large brood, explaining: 

‘But the nice thing is that when you have a big family is you get this sort of spectrum really and you have basically created a tiny little society and kids are quite canny, kids will sort of find something that can be their own and then sort of go headlong into that.’

‘I feel like across the board I’ve kind of got most things ticked really in terms of personalities and interests and all of that stuff.’ 

After becoming a mother to her first two sons, Sophie revealed she has regularly been asked if she wants to have a girl, but she is adamant that she has never been bothered about having a girl in her family. 

The singer pointed out that the questions about having a daughter are disrespectful to her sons and intrusive, and declared she wouldn’t change her family for the world.  

She said: ‘Ever since I had two boys I’ve always said the best thing about having a girl would be that people would stop asking me if I’m trying to have a girl.

‘Actually, when I was pregnant with my fifth, I thought, ‘I really hope it is a boy, actually,’ because I didn’t really like the idea of having a girl and everybody going, ‘Oh you finally got your girl,’ and I’d have to keep going, ‘I wasn’t trying to have a girl!’

‘In a way I was quite relieved and also there’s something quite comical about having five blokes, to me, that’s quite funny. It still makes me laugh.

‘The last one I would want is any of my children thinking I wanted them to be anything other than who they are. I have five very different people and, yes, they all happen to be male but that’s literally the tip of the iceberg.’