Gemma Collins says she hopes to become a mother this year after her third miscarriage

Gemma Collins has shared her hopes of becoming a mother this year, six months after suffering a third miscarriage with her ex James Argent’s baby.

The TOWIE star, 39, spoke out about her ‘2021 goals’ in a new episode of her eponymous BBC Sounds podcast, declaring: ‘I feel that it’s going to happen for me.’

Businesswoman Gemma also revealed she aims to commit to a relationship as she discussed manifesting ‘marriage, eternal happiness, health, love and her career with the universe’.

The media personality said on the audio show, titled New Year Goals: ‘How will I feel about 2021 this time next year? Well, I hope I’m married, I hope I have a baby this year – I feel that it’s going to happen for me.

‘My main focus this year will be to really be comfortable being Gemma Collins, and definitely committing and giving quality time to a relationship and hopefully I’m going to have a baby. I don’t know why I feel like I am.

‘When I set out my goals, I think about how I’m going to manifest these babies up because I do believe in manifesting with the universe. Firstly I’m manifesting eternal happiness, health, love and [my] career.’

The reality star also admitted she thought she needed ‘counselling’ as she initially feared turning 40 later this month, but now feels the upcoming chapter in her life is ‘acceptable’ after witnessing Kim Kardashian reach the milestone last October. 

Gemma first spoke out about her heartbreaking loss in November, after Meghan Markle announced she had lost her second child with Prince Harry.   

The TV star told The Sun: I’ve not talked about this before, but it was my third, each one a devastating loss on my longed-for journey to motherhood. 

‘I’ve been trying to have a baby for nearly a decade now, only to have my hopes dashed time and again by first one miscarriage, then another.’ 

In a poignant essay, Gemma detailed the beginning of her miscarriage and said she had no idea she was pregnant with on-off boyfriend Arg’s baby, before she started experiencing sharp cramps one morning.

The fashion designer said she had dismissed the pains as a heavy period, and tried to push on through the excruciating pain, before her sister forced her to visit her doctor. 

After being sent to hospital, the influencer, whose parents are currently battling coronavirus, was given the tragic news that she had suffered a miscarriage. 

Gemma continued: ‘In a single instant, I learned that I’d been carrying a baby and lost it, meaning that once again I found my longstanding dreams of motherhood shattered into pieces.’ 

The Diva Forever star said she refuses to give up on her dream of becoming a mother and that she thinks about the miscarriage ‘every day.’

She added that she was finding it tough being single since breaking up from Arg, 33, in July, and, on bad days, fears her three miscarriages were her only chance to become a mother.        

In August, the former Dancing On Ice star revealed she suffered a miscarriage during lockdown during an appearance on Loose Women. 

Speaking about her Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), Gemma explained she didn’t realise she was in the midst of a miscarriage and thought she was having a heavy period.

The presenter told the Loose Women she doesn’t want motherhood ‘robbed’ from her and admitted losing a baby with ‘someone I loved very much was very heartbreaking’.

Gemma, who also had a miscarriage in 2012, told the ITV show: ‘It was really difficult for me in isolation because with my condition of PCOS, it’s not easy to fall pregnant and I did suffer a miscarriage which was really sad during the lockdown period. 

‘I have suffered with it for the last 10 years. I started to gain weight when I was 28, my periods were all over the place. I’ve suffered miscarriages.

‘I did go through a very sad miscarriage in lockdown. Due to PCOS I just thought that I was having an unusually heavy period. I actually left it 10 days.

‘I can remember thinking the month before, “Ooh, my boobs seem really perky!” It’s been no secret recently that I’ve found my boobs so heavy in my life, I’m turning 40 this year, I will not be taking them into the next decade with me.

‘So, I thought, “Oh, maybe I won’t have the operation, I’ve been working out, maybe they’re lifting up a bit”.

‘Then three or four days into a heavy period really realising it’s not like a usual period… but thinking there’s been a lot going on lately, maybe my body’s been a bit stressed.’

The host explained it was her sister-in-law who advised her to seek medical attention, continuing: ‘It went on for 10 days between 9am and midday, I was getting through 10 super sanity towels. 

‘Then it was my sister-in-law, not to be graphic, but I had to show her. I said, “I don’t think this is normal”. I rang my doctor and he said, “You need to go straight to the hospital”. 

‘It was very sad. But it does make me realise that, potentially there is hope there for me for the future.’ 

The blonde went on to explain that she’s since had a series of checks and revealed her recent weight loss was due to doctors telling her she may be able to conceive naturally if she dropped some weight.

‘I went and saw a top specialist. I have had myself checked and he has actually told me – this is why I went on a massive weight loss journey this year.’

‘I’ve been doing it slowly, it’s not been a massive fast, rapid thing, I want it to stay off this time – he said to me, “You’ve got no cysts on your ovaries anymore, that’s cleared up. 

‘So, we’re winning. You do suffer from the syndrome so you do get the symptoms that go with it. But your cervix and everything is perfect for when you’re ready. 

‘However, you need to get your weight down, you need to get at least another two stone off”.’

‘And when it comes to it they might be able to give me something called Clomid which could potentially speed the process up. So hopefully George Clooney will be available around that time.’ 

Gemma confessed: ‘I pray every night that everything’s going to work out for me.

‘I’ve been quite lucky with my career but my personal life is heart-breaking. 

‘Having the miscarriage with someone you love very much was very heart-breaking.’

Asked if she’d use a sperm bank, she said: ‘My lovely gay besties have all put themselves up for the job. 

‘But yeah, there’s that option. You know I’ve got my nephews and I treat them like my own.’

‘But do you know what, if I had to go down that route I will do it. I’ve got no qualms in that. 

‘I’m very open and honest. I will have a baby and I do want a baby. 

‘And also, every mother will know this, I want to feel motherhood… I’ve not had the physical experience of being a full time mum. 

‘I don’t want that robbed from me in my life, that would be a travesty.

‘There’s so many good options out there, like adoption. Madonna’s done it, Angelina Jolie, The GC could be next. 

‘I do hold onto that dream that I will be able to conceive naturally and be the mum and give all the love I’ve got. 

‘That’s really the only bad thing in my life [that I haven’t had that].’

Gemma also insisted she’d swap her fame for motherhood, declaring: ‘Absolutely, if I could trade places with it tomorrow, I would.’ 

For confidential support please contact the Miscarriage Association on 01924 200799 or email [email protected]