Denise Welch spoke about her three decade battle with depression on Thursday’s episode of Loose Women.
The star made an emotional appearance on the ITV show, appearing in a video from home as she discussed her experience with depression with her co-stars.
Denise, 62, admitted that her lowest she tried to throw herself out of her taxi, describing how post-natal depression, following the birth of her son, 1975 singer Matty Healy, in 1989, was her first experience of mental health issues.
Speaking out: Denise Welch spoke about her three decade battle with depression on Thrusday’s episode of Loose Women
Promoting her new book The Unwelcome Visitor: Depression and How I Survive It, Denise said she wanted to speak publicly about her experiences to help others.
‘Obviously I have no medical knowledge, I’m in no position to tell anyone how to survive it, but if anyone can gain solace from my experience…’ she said.
‘It started when I gave birth to Matty 31 years ago. Prior to that I’d had no episode of depression. I didn’t know the true meaning of depression until I had very severe postnatal depression.’
She added: ‘Nobody that I could access was talking about it – nobody in the public eye, as it were. There was nothing.’
Tearful: The star made an emotional appearance on the ITV show, appearing in a video from home as she discussed her experience with depression with her co-stars
‘I wasn’t in a fit state to go into a bookstore to find a medical book. Unfortunately for me it opened up a tendency for it and it’s something I’ve lived with for 31 years and it’s why I’ve done the book.’
Denise explained how she was aware of her postnatal depression after a blissful pregnancy with her son: ‘I knew that I had postnatal depression in as much as I’d been a perfectly ‘normal’ blooming woman in pregnancy… I loved it… Everything around us was fine.’
‘And then I was plunged into this black, almost suicidal, depression – so I knew it was post-natal depression.
Post-natal: Denise, 62, described how post-natal depression, following the birth of her son, 1975 singer Matty Healy, in 1989, was her first experience of mental health issues (pictured together in 2011)
Speaking about one particular depressive episode, the Loose Women star explained: ‘I’d had a horrible moment where I’d tried to throw myself out of a taxi when I was with my mum. And when people say, ‘Were you trying to end everything?’ I wasn’t. I was trying to stop the pain. Only people who have had severe depression will know how that feels.’
Denise also revealed how her illness affected her work, confessing she didn’t do theatre for 12 years after having a ‘terrible episode of depression in the middle of a show’.
She added: ‘I would have given anything to have turned on my TV, to see someone I recognised talking about an illness they lived with, how they enjoyed the bits in between.’
Illness: Speaking about one particular depressive episode, the Loose Women star explained: ‘I’d had a horrible moment where I’d tried to throw myself out of a taxi’
Denise went on to tearfully explain that her ‘darkest moments were at the very beginning,’ when she was trying to understand post-natal depression..
‘The main thing was when I couldn’t love my child and that does affect me… when you have this baby, that you have wanted so badly, and you have no love, because what depression does is it depresses every single emotion, so it’s not striving for happiness, it’s striving for normalcy – it’s striving for the ability to be happy, to be sad, to care, to feel jealous, to feel anger, because with depression you feel nothing’.
‘And that’s why you feel that life can be not worth living, unless you have a family like mine who said every day, ‘You will get better’.’
Denise was played messages of support from her husband Lincoln Towney and stepson during the show, while her co-stars read out a loving message from her son Matty.
Loss: The chat prompted fellow Loose Women Ruth Langsford to explain how it feels to have a family member with depression, following the death of her sister Julia last year
Denise concluded with a message of hope for viewers, telling them: ‘You can survive it and you can make the most of your life in between the episodes… I want to say a thank you to Loose Women and you girls for giving me a platform to speak about my own experiences but for making this show about lightening the load as well, I’m very proud to be a part of it.’
The chat prompted fellow Loose Women Ruth Langsford to explain how it feels to have a family member with depression. The ITV satr’s sister Julia took her own life last June following a long battle with her mental health.
Ruth explained on Thrusday’s show that as a loved one ‘sometimes it’s about giving the right support and I didn’t know what to do.’
‘Sometimes I made the mistake of chivvying someone up, she would say she was feeling one way and I’d say why don’t you do this. I was listening to Stephen Fry and he said sometimes they don’t want to do that, just listen.’
Nadia Sawalha was in tears as she explained it was too emotional for her to talk about her husband Mark Adderley’s depression.
For confidential support call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, see www.samaritans.org for details
Emotional show: Nadia Sawalha was in tears as she explained it was too emotional for her to talk about her husband Mark Adderley’s depression